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angel_janeI told the guy, I can never keep shut about those I really care about. He told me something about himself and lack of knowledge led me to go into brain spin and over load.
To be honest here, it surprised me and led me to question everything, the only way I happen to learn and I feel like crap at the moment because I made him feel crappy, which is the last thing I think of when I think of him.
I really like this guy, he's everything I like in a man, smart, kind, funny, interested in similar things as me. This would be perfect everyday boyfriend material even with the thing I learnt tonight. Strangely enough it has disolved a ton of jealousy that I had been carrying because of his interest in other girls (Hello, did I mention that I am stupid?). I should never have been freaking out, I have an attraction to another guy too.
So, I asked the guy I have been spending the last week freaking out over if he, when I was in his town, would date me. He said yes! that had me hyper and happy. Then I learnt this thing about him and hmmm was my first reaction, and then the more he told me and the more I read the more this idea makes more sense than sociological norms.
Thing is if I got involved in someone like this and especially with the distances involved, I doubt I would feel so bad that I were messing with his life. And in a way I wouldn't feel so bad about liking another guy in a similar, if not as strongly, way.
I want this guy, I can't help it, I really can't, but I'm no where near as jealous as I once was. Hallaluja.
To be honest here, it surprised me and led me to question everything, the only way I happen to learn and I feel like crap at the moment because I made him feel crappy, which is the last thing I think of when I think of him.
I really like this guy, he's everything I like in a man, smart, kind, funny, interested in similar things as me. This would be perfect everyday boyfriend material even with the thing I learnt tonight. Strangely enough it has disolved a ton of jealousy that I had been carrying because of his interest in other girls (Hello, did I mention that I am stupid?). I should never have been freaking out, I have an attraction to another guy too.
So, I asked the guy I have been spending the last week freaking out over if he, when I was in his town, would date me. He said yes! that had me hyper and happy. Then I learnt this thing about him and hmmm was my first reaction, and then the more he told me and the more I read the more this idea makes more sense than sociological norms.
Thing is if I got involved in someone like this and especially with the distances involved, I doubt I would feel so bad that I were messing with his life. And in a way I wouldn't feel so bad about liking another guy in a similar, if not as strongly, way.
I want this guy, I can't help it, I really can't, but I'm no where near as jealous as I once was. Hallaluja.
